While Everyone Pretends It’s Just About Deadlines

The Myth of Work as Neutral
Work relationships are political.
They’re shaped by:
- Power dynamics
- Communication styles
- Emotional labour that isn’t in your job description
- Micro-trust built over years
- Who brings the snacks
- Who takes the minutes
- Who always notices when someone’s off, and who never asks
It’s not just collaboration.
It’s navigation.
And most people are doing it while pretending it’s just tasks.

What Work Relationships Really Influence
| Not Just This | But Also This |
| Task outcomes | Psychological safety |
| Project efficiency | Belief in shared purpose |
| Promotion chances | Self-worth, visibility, inclusion |
| Conflict resolution | Whether people feel brave enough to speak at all |
| “Team culture” | How people treat themselves when they log off |
You’re not just building spreadsheets.
You’re building systems of care, or fear.

What Good Work Relationships Feel Like (That No One Lists in Job Ads)
- Mutual “I’ve got you” energy, even across departments
- Being able to say “Not today” without drama
- Respect that doesn’t rely on titles
- Quiet advocacy (“I know they didn’t say much, but they’re thinking deeply”)
- Listening that includes pauses
- Inside jokes that don’t exclude
- Conflict handled without punishment
- Celebrations without competitiveness
It’s not about being friends.
It’s about being human, together, professionally.

Signs of Relationship Trouble at Work (That Aren’t Always Named)
☐ Passive-aggressive emoji reactions in Teams
☐ Every message reads like a legal deposition
☐ People apologise before speaking, then self-censor
☐ Credit is redistributed invisibly to higher-ups
☐ Feedback is a game of emotional Jenga
☐ No one can say “I need help” without a fear-tax
☐ Someone’s always playing peacemaker, but burning out quietly
Work relationships affect morale more than salary figures.

Phrases That Gently Shift Professional Relationships
(Without Losing Boundaries)
“You always notice things I miss. Can we sync up more often?”
“I appreciate how direct you are; it helps me feel clear.”
“I want us to work well together. Can we talk about how we prefer to communicate?”
“Thanks for advocating for me, I noticed, and it mattered.”
“Let’s check in once this wraps up. I want to make sure we both feel heard.”
It’s not about vulnerability explosion.
It’s about strategic tenderness.

When You Realise You’re the “Emotionally Available One”
Congrats?
You might be:
- Holding everyone’s unspoken concerns
- Asking the real questions
- Protecting morale at the cost of productivity
- Noticing who’s crying in the toilet (but not outing them)
- Translating between departments with empathy tax included
Care is a gift.
It’s also unpaid labour.
Be careful not to give more than you’re replenished.

Final Thought
Work relationships aren’t extra.
They are the work.
You don’t have to be best friends.
But you do deserve:
- Clarity
- Respect
- Care that doesn’t compromise your boundaries
- Room to grow
- A place to be brilliant, confused, and enough, even when the team’s wobbling
If connection feels possible?
Lean toward it, gently.
If it feels exhausting?
Step back, protect your peace, and let professionalism mean presence, not emotional contortion.
You weren’t hired to be perfect.
But maybe, just maybe, work can hold you as the person you are, not just the role you play.
Explore more with us:
- Browse Spiralmore collections
- Read our Informal Blog for relaxed insights
- Discover Deconvolution and see what’s happening
- Visit Gwenin for a curated selection of frameworks



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