“Purpose” – You’re Not Broken, You’re Bored

When “Feeling Lost” Is Really Just Your Brain Asking for a Bit of Excitement

Let’s Get One Thing Straight: You’re Not a Disaster

Before you decide your life is meaningless and your soul needs a total reboot, take a breath (yes, I know you’ve heard that before). This isn’t another “just breathe” moment; this is me telling you that you might not be broken at all.

You might just be bored.

Seriously. That gnawing sense of restlessness? The “Is this really it?” that creeps in while you’re staring at yet another spreadsheet or sitting in traffic? That’s not a breakdown. That’s your brain sending a polite memo:

“Dear You, please stop doing the same thing every day. Regards, Your Motivation.”

We talk a lot about stress and burnout, and rightfully so. But boredom is the quiet cousin that sneaks up on you and steals your spark while you’re distracted.

Men are especially good at ignoring it. We push through. We work harder. We buy things. We convince ourselves we just need a holiday, or a better job, or maybe a second monitor.

But here’s the truth: you can’t outwork boredom. You have to outsmart it.

According to research from Frontiers in Psychology, boredom isn’t laziness; it’s an emotional signal that you’re under-stimulated or disconnected from meaning. It’s your system saying, “I need something different, mate.”

They can look similar, but they’re sneaky opposites:

Boredom	Burnout
Not enough challenge	Too much demand
You feel flat and restless	You feel drained and hopeless
You crave stimulation	You crave rest
The cure is novelty	The cure is recovery

If you’re exhausted, that’s burnout. Check out Mind’s guide to burnout for some proper advice.

If you’re just apathetic, you might be bored stiff, and that’s actually fixable.

Most of us grew up thinking boredom was bad. If you complained as a kid, someone probably told you to “go find something to do.” Now, as adults, we’ve taken that to an extreme.

We can’t even wait in line without checking our phones. We’ve trained our brains to expect constant stimulation, and when life doesn’t deliver, we spiral.

A bit of boredom is actually good for you. It’s the space where ideas live. But when we fill every quiet moment with noise, we lose the signal.

Here’s the twist: boredom isn’t the opposite of purpose; it’s the entry point.

When you feel bored, it’s your inner compass nudging you to explore. To reconnect. To move towards something that matters.

Purpose doesn’t always come in dramatic flashes of inspiration. Sometimes it starts as the faint irritation of “I can’t do this anymore.”

That’s the call to adventure, not a crisis, but an invitation.

We stay bored because it’s safe.
We do the same routines, talk to the same people, eat the same lunch, and then wonder why life feels like a rerun.

It’s comfortable, sure, but comfort has a dark side. It slowly erases curiosity.

As author Daniel Pink explains in Drive, motivation thrives on autonomy, mastery, and purpose. When you lose those when your job or routine stops challenging you, your energy drops, even if nothing’s technically “wrong.”

So, if you’re restless, congratulations: that’s not failure. That’s your drive trying to wake you up.

You don’t need to burn your life down. You just need to shake it up.

Here’s how:

1. Do Something Slightly Uncomfortable
   Not terrifying, just new. Take a different route to work. Try a new café. Sign up for a class where you know nothing. The brain loves novelty.
   • Check out Meetup.com local groups doing everything from hiking to board games.
   • Or try Eventbrite for workshops, talks, and weirdly specific hobbies near you.
2. Reclaim Curiosity
   Ask yourself: what would I do if I didn’t have to be good at it? Then… do that. No pressure, no audience, no “end goal.”
3. Change One Small Thing
   New environment = new energy. Rearrange your desk. Start the day differently. Hell, move the couch. It’s not life-changing, but it can trick your brain into movement.
4. Use Boredom Productively
   The next time you reach for your phone out of habit, don’t. Sit in the stillness for a minute. See what pops up. (Spoiler: probably good ideas.)

Sometimes boredom isn’t about lack of stimulation, it’s about lack of connection.

You might be surrounded by people, but feel invisible. You might have work but no meaning. That’s not boredom, that’s loneliness in a decent disguise.

If that’s ringing a bell, check these out:

• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – support for men feeling stuck or isolated
• Men’s Sheds UK – community spaces where men build stuff, chat, and quietly sort their lives out
• NHS Every Mind Matters – small actions to improve mood and motivation

You’re not alone, you’re just disconnected. That’s fixable.

Grab a notepad, or your phone’s notes app, and answer:

• What parts of my day make me feel drained?
• What parts make me feel alive?
• When was the last time I did something for the first time?

If your answers are bleak, don’t panic. You’ve just found your starting point.

Boredom doesn’t mean your life’s a failure. It means you’ve outgrown the current version of it.

You don’t need to quit your job or move to Thailand (though no judgment if you do). You just need to reintroduce aliveness, one small risk, one new idea, one slightly ridiculous hobby at a time.

As writer Anne Lamott said,

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.”

• Do Something New Every day – small, daily challenges that reset your routine
• Coursera’s Free Curiosity Courses – learn something you’ve never considered before
• VolunteerMatch – turn boredom into contribution
• Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg – start small, go far

You don’t need therapy because you’re “lost.” (Though therapy’s always a good shout check Mind’s therapy guide.)

You need curiosity, novelty, and connection.

So, before you tear your life down, ask yourself:

“What if I’m not broken? What if I’m just bored?”

And then go find out.

Explore more with us:

• Browse Spiralmore collections
• Read our Informal Blog for relaxed insights
• Discover Deconvolution and see what’s happening
• Visit Gwenin for a curated selection of frameworks